I often get asked for money. I often get asked about – getting asked for money.
What should we do?
Before I begin, we are surrounded by poor people. People have real needs and many people still eat out of trash cans and out of despair some are left with no choice – but to ask for your help.
When you see someone asking for money, there are usually two needs going on. The guy asking has a serious need. His sign may say “Homeless vet” or “will work for food” or maybe “beer money”. That guy has a serious need. His need may not be clearly communicated on his cardboard sign, but he does have needs.
You have needs. You were created in the image of God and therefore you have compassion – and want to help. But you also want to know that a gift be used for the intended purpose. Will the money buy food or alcohol, medicine or drugs?
I suggest a different option. In my car I carry non-perishable food. I have packages of cereal bars, cheese crackers, McDonald’s gift certificates and Bibles. I would love the opportunity to sit with someone in need – rather than passing something through my car window. Sometimes I don’t get the option, so I ask for the person’s name and then I tell them that I will be praying for them. “Is there anything in particular that I can pray for you about?” This is a great primer for someone to know that you care. “I don’t have any money that I can give you, but I do have some food – are you hungry?”.
Sometimes I am told by the guy with the sign that reads “Hungry” – “I don’t want food – I need money”. That’s usually a good sign that his needs are deeper than his sign and he is dealing with issues that can’t be resolved by passing something through a window. If I can, I will pull over and try to spend some time with him.
If you are approached by a panhandler, I suggest these alternative options:
- Don’t ignore them. They are people and no one wants to be ignored. Acknowledge that you hear them, engage them, and tell them what you can – and can’t do.
- Don’t lie. If you have money that you don’t want to give someone, then tell them. “I don’t have any money that I can give you”. Don’t lie about the contents of your pocket in order to stop the conversation.
- Try to meet the need. If they are hungry, offer to buy them a meal or give them something that you have with you. You can buy yourself another lunch – give them yours.
- Ask how you can specifically pray for them. Everyone needs prayer. Be courageous and bold. If they ask you to pray specifically for them – then do it! Don’t be afraid to build a relationship with someone who might look a little different than you.
If you want to give money to help the problem, I suggest you donate to a non profit who exists to meet their needs. They are usually better equipped to meet their real needs and engage them in developing their lives.
Human needs fall into three basic categories. Spiritual, Emotional and Physical. There are many groups who do a great job to meet physical needs. Our goal is to address the unmet needs. We focus on the spiritual and emotional needs of the community. Do we feed people? Yes. Do we clothe people? Yes. Do we give blankets and other physical items to address obvious physical needs? Definitely – Yes. But we do this – in order to meet spiritual and emotional needs. Our calling is to glorify God by leading homeless people to Christ and stabilizing broken lives as they begin God honoring lifestyles. What is your calling?
Update (1/11/10) Last Saturday I was under a bridge distributing resources when I met a woman named Rhonda. She is homeless and has been addicted to Crack for over 20 years. She was very honest. I asked her about panhandling and She told me “Don’t ever give me money. Don’t even give me one dollar. I promise you I will smoke it up. I am not only an addict, I am a dope fiend. I have sold my clothes, my body and told any story for the next rock of Crack. Please don’t give me money.”
Please think about Rhonda the next time someone tells you a great story of why they need money. Consider buying them food, filling their car with gas, or working with an organization that can meet their needs. We aren’t trying to deny anyone who needs help. We are trying to stop the cycle of enablement, one dollar at a time. Our mission is to lead them to Christ and to stabilize their lives. If it takes food, assistance with filling a prescription or a bus ticket to bring stability – then by all means lets meet those needs together.
Pastor to the Homeless 
Good points I will try to start carrying these things. I will not ignore the next person I see asking for money. I will forward this to people that ask me the same question.
Here’s something…there’s a woman in my community who walks around with the help of a cane, she’s obviously severely mentally handicapped, and she sells her body for crack. When you see her she says “HUUUNGRY!” and then “FIIVE DOLLAARS?” and if you try to say, can I get you some food she says the same thing over again. Once we ran into her when we were going on a walk one night and when she said the usual thing, and we said “We’ll buy some food for you!” and she said “FIVE DOLLLARS?” and we said “No” and left.
Another time I ran into her and I had five dollars with me. She said “FIIIVE DOLLARS? HUUUNGRY!!” and I stopped, looked her in the eye, and said, “Yes, I would like for you to have this five dollars!” and she stopped and looked me in the eye, and said “THAAANK YOU!” and I said “You’re welcome!”.
Which one is better? With the first case, she left without feeling any kind of love or caring from us, and probably went off in search of a strange man who would sexually use her. In the second, she found someone who cared more about her than the money in his pocket. In both cases she might have used the money for crack.
A few months later that a drug pusher said “I’ll give $10 to whoever beats her!” after she had taken something from him and hobbled off. Some addict who was there went over to her and gave her a severe beating that sent her to the hospital, but I’ve seen her since then, out hobbling along.
This is just something I wanted to share with y’all.
Someone sick with addiction is going to do “whatever it takes” to get money to support their vice. If they can’t get money from you, they might do the unthinkable to get it from someone else.
Addiction is a sickness and nothing you can say or do will change them. They have to decide that they want to change – before they consider the effort and work necessary to stop the cycle.
Pray. Pray often and pray hard for those with addictions. God can change them. Recovery is a long process and it starts with prayer.
thank you I have never thought about these chance encounters from a proper mindset …so much food for thought . I can do much better than I ever have in the past .